Me, Myself, and I

The smell of rot is founded in four simple words: Me, Myself, and I. Can you smell it? The stench might be hard to detect at first. Stop, reflect, and take inventory. It’s easier to believe the rot is elsewhere until the moment we realize it’s within.

Over the last few years, it’s been heard that concepts of right and wrong, good and bad, up and down, have been inversely arranged. I’m guessing that sentiment vastly extends across our social circles and communities. The current political environment is a prime example.

We have begun viewing others solely through the lens of their political views and therefore, resorting to name-calling, belittling, and severing ties with family and long-time friends. At a minimum, we have abandoned mutual respect and the Golden Rule: Treat others as you want to be treated. We have stopped conversing with each other. Instead, we have become emotionally fragile as evidenced by our inability or unwillingness to relationally converse with others of differing views or engage in problem solving.

We often avoid uncomfortable conversations to evade them. For example,  we have established a cross-sectional rule that politics is not to be discussed in settings where we might disagree unless it’s with those who share similar ideals. Even more preposterous is that we have labeled it a boundary when it is a wall between us. Ironically, we have adopted a passive-aggressive approach, such as using social media as a weapon against our followers, who, in most cases, are our family, friends, and neighbors.

Another example of our emotional fragility is our obsession with being seen, heard, and how we feel. While it’s normal to identify our feelings, we must remember that feelings are an internal gauge; they are neither good nor bad. And they are not necessarily based in fact or reality. Therefore, our decisions should not be solely based on feelings or emotions. Our thoughts, too, are often irrational. Our constant desire to be seen, heard, and understood has become an obstacle relationally.

It's easy to mistake the rotting culprit to be that of fear. Be afraid, be very afraid. Isn’t that the daily message being channeled to us through the media, especially since Covid-19? Fear-mongering is not helpful or sustainable. We have forgotten, or not yet learned, that FEAR is often known as False Evidence Appearing Real. Beyond the depth of our fear lurks a very real culprit:  Me, myself, and I.

At some point, we must take responsibility for the part we’ve played in finger-pointing, fear-mongering, and the breakdown of our relationships. Many have been the aggressor while others have been passive (maybe exhaustedly so), turned a blind eye, and forfeited their voices, possibly under the belief that the problem would resolve itself. There’s no doubt that many of us have vacillated between aggression and passivity.

What is our moral compass these days, and why does it keep changing? Me, myself, and I. It seems like we treat the moral compass like a home renovation; ever evolving, sometimes occurring on a whim. If we pay attention, the most overused sentence stems are I want, I deserve, I feel, I need, and I can’t. From our finger-pointing stance, we deny or minimize our flaws while magnifying the [perceived or actual] flaws of others. Our external moral compass has become internal because everything is about me, myself, and I, right?

The stench is coming from within. The rotting odor is unbearable and yet we don’t smell it. Our eyes are open, and yet we are blind. It’s like a flesh-eating disease, and yet we don’t feel it. We spew hatred in the name of the partisan mind, and yet we don’t taste the filth passing through our mouths. We listen to a crap-load of unfiltered information every day, and yet we don’t hear each other. Or maybe our capacity and willingness to love, trust, openly communicate, and demonstrate mutual respect are eroding because we allow it to happen. Right, wrong, good, bad, up, down didn’t move or change. The condition of our hearts did, and it pits us against them and them against us. It’s called me, myself, and I, and it stinks.